It’s Good To Talk

It is often said “A problem shared is a problem halved”. How often do we experience that? I’m guessing quite often. Had a crap day at work or a project not work out the way we wanted and we reach for the phone and call a friend. We may cry, bitch and moan about the situation and while we may not have the answers immediately, we do feel better. We may have a better sense of proportion or we may have a solution. It may just be that by talking to a friend, we don’t feel alone. We have found a comrade.

From time to time, life throws things at us that are utterly overwhelming. We are paralysed by the fear of what we’re experiencing. Suddenly we can’t talk to friends for a whole host of reasons. We not want to worry them. We may think (or even know) they won’t have an answer so what’s the point? We may be embarrassed or ashamed. So that release valve of talking is never opened and the pressure inside us builds up.

This is when the trouble starts.

We feel helpless and alone an scared. It is utterly paralysing.

If you are reading this and recognise some of these things then let me share with you what I have learnt. Talking helps. You may not believe me but it’s true. If you don’t feel you can talk to your friends because they can’t help or they don’t understand or even that they’ll judge you, there are excellent charities such as Mind that can really help. I promise you, you can talk to them in complete safety and you will feel better for it. It won’t happen overnight – anything worthwhile takes time – but it really does work. The most important thing to remember is that you have not failed at anything. This is not a test. You are not useless or beyond hope. You don’t build a house all by yourself. You get friends and professionals in to help you, and when you sit in the garden enjoying a glass of something chilled you don’t think “This is less valuable to me because I had help” if anything it is more valuable because you had help. Because people supported you when you couldn’t do it by yourself.

Today marks the start of Mental Health Awareness Week and I’d like to ask you for help. Let’s all talk to one another. If you know someone who is so full of fear they can’t talk to you, suggest they talk to someone like Mind. They may well resist –  fear is paralysing – but keep talking to them. Eventually they will listen. And they will thank you. If you are full of fear, know that you are not alone and you haven’t failed and that talking helps.

x

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